Facebook. It's fun, it's quick, and it's convenient for keeping in touch. But oh so shallow. The more I delve and get sucked into it, the more it hurts to see parts of people's lives that I never got to share with them. And then something akin to loneliness gnaws at my heart.
But only for a couple seconds. Too busy with packing up to move out of the house by next week. It's been an adventure, to say the least. I've learned a lot about purchasing things for a home, how easy it is to accumulate junk, how much work and financial losses are involved in selling what was accumulated, and how humbling it is to realize what isn't needed or is important. For a while, I was on a materialistic rampage, only to realize that "Gosh, we won't have space to keep the stuff!" And then Al and I discuss and evaluate what to keep and what to let go. At first, we wanted to keep as much as possible, even possible rent a house instead of an apt for the sake of keeping everything. Then we considered a condo. Then a multi-bedroom apt. Then a 1-bedroom apt. And... it's weird to realize that a 1-br will meet all of our needs. It was interesting to see how dogs change everything: dog rent, grass availability, how far the apt is from the dog's bathroom (grass), surrounding areas being walkable (or dangerous highways dogs might get injured on)... but I digress. Now that we know we're going down to a small apt, there's a need to sell off whatever furniture we have. And Al and I keep revisiting, "What can we sell? What can we keep?" and in the end, we have our hearts set on a mattress and a couple paintings that I'll never let go, because Q-Tip and Charmin are subtly camouflaged in the painting.
It's been a whirlwind marathon. Still more to survive, between our board exams, selling off the house and furniture (>100 items/sets), finding places to live, changing addresses and phone numbers and changing bills, job hunting, job negotiations, and after all... it'll just be nice to breathe. I'm really looking forward to taking a break come July, but if I get a certain job and start immediately, then I'm not sure I'll get that break. But I won't- I CAN'T complain, because everything so far has been so much more than I dared to hope for.
Matthew 6
25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life[b]?
28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
And when I take a moment to look up from my hectic schedule, I look up and my eyes are clouded. When there's a twinge at my heartstrings, I look around and wonder what everyone else is up to. So I turn to Facebook. And get swept away for hours on end laughing at so many funny things, tearing up on the precious things people share (photos, videos, news), and wonder WHY THE HECK DO I HAVE TO WADE THROUGH SEAS OF CRAPPY WALL-POSTS AND LAME PICTURES OF THE SAME STUPID POSES TO FIND THE GOOD STUFF???
At first, it was too much fun getting back in touch with blasts from the past. Old students, high school friends, college friends, pastors, relatives, etc. But the people who I really want to keep up with how they're doing... don't post that kind of stuff on FB. As Jerry put it, "Whatever happened to just talking over a beer?" Not that I care for beers or bars, but the principle is there - whatever happened to quality bonding/catch-up time?
Justin's recent sermon opened with studies on Facebook, how Facebook affects GPA and how Facebook can decrease one's compassion. I think it's true, that being overloaded with inane facts about people's lives desensitizes others to the important facts. I really don't care about who's brushing their teeth, or who's cute in whatever picture. I want to know how you're doing, how you're developing as a decent human being, what makes you stop and think and reflect. I want to revive the part of me that actually cares about how you're doing, how you're really doing.
But that means I have to call you, and you know how often that happens. =( I hate this part of me, the part that utterly sucks at keeping in touch. Yes yes, I know that life comes at you fast, and that I'm insanely busy, but still. I don't want to make excuses. I'm somehow wired to be a GREAT friend if you're within a certain proximity. Outside of that, it's a huge struggle.
Uh... why is my eye twitching? Is it that late? ~realization~ UGH. Good night!
Comments (7)
You're never going to be able to share all of your life with all of your friends, and they're never going to be able to share it all with you. If Facebook helps you realize that, is that such a bad thing?
The lame posts may be an inextricable problem.
Honestly... I am guilty of not being good at calling others too. :( I think that's why I like facebook. I personally am more comfortable e-mailing, texting, and writing on people's walls than calling. Hopefully... we can both improve on calling each other and catching up on our lives. :)
@moritheil - Ignorance is bliss. Could my life have been happier if I never realized what I missed out on? That realization makes me feel like I don't belong, which is retarded, I know, i'm freakin' 30 yrs old now and you'd THINK this kind of stuff doesn't matter.
@qtshin22 - it's convenient to keep people at arm's length, I definitely agree. I hope we can improve too. =)
Good thoughts and insights into our culture and context. Facebook makes it deceptively easy to have "friends."
lets grab a beer sometime. haha. where r u moving to?
Do you see why i never really got into the whole facebook and blog thing? It's like looking into a window at someone's life but not being invited in....